Some more initial principles

Mentally, even if someone is smarter or more educated than us, it doesn't matter. All words, thoughts and ideas weigh the same.

As long as we can look at the incoming information without being pulled off-balance, and we can act according to the desires of our own centers, principles and values, we cannot be mentally controlled.

If incoming information - whether it is from a teacher, a date, a politician, an advertiser, a newscaster - is on an important subject, think of it as a possible attempt to manipulate or control you. Even if this source has not tried this before, this time they might.

In that case, the metaphor would be to consider if this incoming information is a strike. So the first step, is to see if it is a strike or not.

- If accepted, would it have the effect of diminishing your self-worth?

- Would the same person accept this information if it were coming at them?

- Does it contradict what you know of reality?

- Does it exactly agree with what you know of reality? Have you looked at strongly reasoned opinions that have the opposite view? If so, whose facts are actually correct?

- Or is their statement not intended to manipulate you - its instead intended to make you laugh, or even to give you unpleasant counsel which you need to hear?

- Consider this: If this is a physical attempt to control or manipulate you, it could be attempt to grab your arm or punch your face. So, is there a metaphysical part of you they're attacking? Are they trying to hurt your pride? To inflame your fear? To ensnare you with desire?

Reconstruct the information with different specifics. For example:

If they are presenting an argument for punishment and people they care for were being negatively affected by it, would it have the same logical result in that case?

If they are presenting an argument that they are entitled to a certain degree of power, would they agree that their enemies are equally entitled if their enemies were in the same position?

Now with that awareness, analyze their statement again. Does it make the same sense now? Separately from whether or not they're trying to manipulate or control you - is the direction they are trying to push you in, actually good for you?

The car the salesman is trying to get you into, may actually be a good car. The job your boss is trying to give you, may actually be good work for you. The politician who is trying to get your vote, may actually still do good in office.

In other words, know what's going on, be clear on it, and make a choice.

You can only learn this for yourself. The beauty of it is, work your mind like a muscle and it will help you in this for the rest of your life.

And two more, very important rules of thumb:
1. If someone does seem to be attempting to control or manipulate you, and this is destructive to you, they can only do so you with your consent. Don't fight with them any more than the minimum needed to disengage yourself. Put them outside your boundaries, and don't let them back in until you *see* that they have changed this behavior.

2. You almost never really have to buy or do anything right away. You will almost always have time to step back and think about it, in a space that is without influence from the person who's trying to convince you.

Take that time.